Life from the eyes of utter Loser

Many a times in life you realize that your life is stuck at a point of no return. All you are supposed to do is to wait. Wait for a window to open where in you could jump and continue your story. The time that you spend is the scariest of all. It is the time that you know you need to do something, but you don’t have an idea what needs to be done. So you end up waiting endlessly. Such a situation has occurred to me more often. As a matter of fact I am in one such time, waiting my heart out. Every moment there is a hope, when you take couple of step disappointment. There are questions that need to be answered. Yet, your state of mind does not allow you. You end up living a life of a dead man. Living a ‘life of dead man’ is worse and painful than living or being dead. A point where you are alive but not free to live. A point where you realize everything has come to a standstill and yet you breathe. Every breath you take loses its meaning. You are living a life of infinite level of incompleteness. Neither you nor people around could fill those empty blocks. You are in a war where you don’t know the next strike. You are ignorant of friend or a foe. At a point everyone seems like a friend and another they are all foe. Aimlessly you fly to the silver lining, only to know that it was covered by dark clouds too. All this pain and disappointment should have a meaning. Else you don’t deserve anything more.